I developed as a child in an inner world of dreams. From a young age I was connected to a form of intrinsic knowing that I considered normal throughout my childhood. I have memories of being in mature awareness as an infant and toddler. I remember witnessing adult interactions and understanding larger energetic dynamics in play beyond the conversation and physical display. At night I explored the universe and its multidimensionality through lucid dreaming, and craved this time of the moon when I felt most alive and interconnected.
Throughout my childhood and young adult life I felt out of place in my family of origin and starved for spiritual recognition. There was deep care and affection; however, it was rooted in conditional love, and I was reared in values of duality and convention. In an agnostic family of Buddhist origin, I begged to go to church, I spent my allowance on rosaries and statues of Christ, and made crosses out of sticks and twine. No one knew where I came from. Without the guidance and spiritual infrastructure to enrich and attend to the mystical realms for which I yearned—as well as being exposed to great familial suffering and trauma, and deeply affected by childhood racism and bullying—I unplugged from the earth plane at an early age, and plugged into another dimension. In this, I found a way to survive.
It was this primal wound that activated my soul contract and healing odyssey in search of communion. On this karmic path of self-discovery, I was attracted to the progressive and bohemian. I gravitated towards the arts in my formative years, and, later, to political realms of global consciousness and activism as a young adult. I followed an artist’s path and was called to issues of social justice. I studied art and Women’s Studies in college and then went on to pursue advanced graduate study. I received my doctorate from a department ranked first in its field in the world, and worked for ten years as a professor specializing in women of color and third world feminist theory, holding prestigious fellowships and teaching appointments at a range of first-rate colleges, universities, and institutions.
In retrospect, my intellectual development was bound to my life as an intuitive and artist. When I was in flow, my “intellect” was the channel. I was at my best when I was tapped into this place of creativity and “knowing.” I was at my most compromised when I denied this authentic connection within myself. When I was immersed in academic life, much of my “intelligence” came from my intuition, and, the most rewarding aspect of teaching was connecting with my students and supporting their life path. Yet, it was precisely the walls of the academy that created a barrier to transcend intellect for greater wisdom in order to facilitate the seismic shift I knew I could bring about on emotional, psychic, and metaphysical levels.
Over time, I became a reluctant academic with a deep aversion to almost every aspect of academic life that inspired my colleagues. The competitive nature of the academy and the models of merit and rank seemed bereft of anything I found meaningful. I refused all of it and confronted a hundred ego deaths resisting inculcation into this world. My passion was centered on spirituality and the healing arts, yet I found myself locked into a career that offered little spiritual or creative sustenance for me, if any at all.
Throughout this time, I was a closeted spiritualist and lived much of my life in creative reverie. The intellectual and political arenas were fueled by the life of the mind, and I found myself suppressing my inner mystic to participate in these worlds. In private I relished my solitude and retreated often into hermetic isolation. I lived intensely within many different “selves” in search of deeper meaning and heartfelt life experiences to find my way.
When I look back at my life, I recall so many different versions of lives lived and so many alternate experiences that each could represent a past life. Yet, I lived each of them to their fullest, loving deeply in every instance, and always aspiring for greater authenticity and connection. This was my quest.
What kept me “awake” while I was actually sleepwalking through much of my life as a professor, was the birth of my role as a mother and wife, and the fruition of golden karma that would eventually yield two more light children in true love, conscious conception, and sacred home birth. I channeled their soul contracts and life missions prior to their arrival, and their births represented a physical manifestation of an otherworldly bond beyond human form in our lives. Being the mother and co-steward to these three magnificent beings has single handedly gifted me the divine feminine grace of my personal power and sacred abilities, fast tracking my ascension process epically.
While working at my old job, I always made it more important to nurse my feverish baby and be present for her. She came before all career expectations and employment obligations. At that time, I always chose my family over furthering my career because I was literally unable to force myself to do otherwise. Years later, it remains a gift I am able to hold with tremendous gratitude as I know now what it is to live and work from inspiration. I know now that I was always trying to follow my intuitive heart and go where I belong; as challenging as it was for most of my life, I always tried. I am because of my light family and they are my worship. Showing up for the world and doing the work I do now resides in the same vibration as loving my children. It is that holy.
I was born as a healer while pregnant with my first child. I was guided to those who needed healing, and the experiences were so powerful, they were undeniable. Tumors were shrunk and disappeared; amniotic fluid balanced; high blood pressure eased; pain abated; broken limbs, wounds, fevers, physical ailments and emotional distress underwent rapid healing; and each occurrence came with divine messages of direct cause and effect correlation so that I would come to know, trust and honor the path set before me.
This secret life created a breaking point where I could no longer disavow the radical misalignment between my heart and my work as an academic. At the peak of this time, I saw my life reflecting all the limitations and contingencies that had me searching for so long. I owed my child, and the honor of my role as her mother, the integrity of living in my truth.
And so, one evening, I was called powerfully to the channel. With resolute conviction, I found myself writing a letter to God stating that the time was now and I was prepared for my true calling and ready to spiritually resign from all aspects of my life that were inauthentic. Whatever that meant, whatever that would mean, I was ready to serve. Literally over night—as in the morning of the following day—the stars aligned and the universe engineered my departure from the college I had taught for years. It was as if a magician had waved a wand and the alchemy was set in motion.
It was instantaneous and I never looked back.
Stepping onto my light path required a radical leap of faith, with no assurances other than the divine guidance propelling me. My healing gifts were established, but I had to set up a solid infrastructure in which to introduce them. Within a year of leaving my life as a professor I had completed over a thousand hours of trainings to “house” my abilities, and received notable certifications and credentials to establish a successful private practice. I had come home.
I look upon decades of my life—from the despair of my childhood, onwards—as a divine apprenticeship. I see now that my contract as an academic was always in support of my calling as a channel, healer and intuitive. My experience as a professor provided rigorous training so that I would be able to articulate and express what I channel in a way that allows me to connect intimately with a broad range of individuals across diverse contexts and issues. To “know” is one thing, to be able to convey that knowing with depth, clarity, sensitivity and nuanced understanding to reach another—and heal—is a gift.
Since my practice was established, I have undergone continued heights and passages of spiritual evolution and transformation. The channel continues to ascend along with the planet in this dynamic time of acceleration, and I along with them. It is an on-going process. I have experienced a lifetime of miracles in my life, each one worthy of a life unto itself. Within these experiences, I have been shown the wisdom of the divine law of attraction that mystics, seers and prophets have shared across millennia. It is my prayer to live in the whisper of its sanctity each day and share its awe. My life is graced by this love and I live in its sphere with my soul family. This isn't the life I saw as a child, but it is the life that always called me from within.
Each day I witness miracles take place in my life and my clients’ lives. With reverence I behold these mystical occurrences each day, each moment, each breath. Each day, I surrender with mindfulness to the unseen, and commit to its prayer.
When I tell my clients to believe in the magic of living lives of creative authenticity and joy, it is only from the humbling insight of having experienced the heights and depths of life myself, and then coming to know in the truest part of myself that there is only love, light, joy—and healing—meant for each and everyone of us. I share and imbue the work with the self-mastery of being guided on this path myself by the channel, and continuing to follow and live the guidance each day. Each day I master. To master is the human process. To know what to master is the healing path.
It is my calling to support my clients to co-create with the universe. This is the golden opportunity available to each of us in a lifetime, and the one opportunity we must seize. Our free will exists in the reality of God’s dream, and with our expanded awareness and conscious intention, we can choose to be all the light we have requested for this time. The Christ age has finally yielded a new age of holy light, and it is time for all of us to surf these waves of high.
To live is to see each moment as a miracle, to see life comprised by these miracles, and to be in the profound gratitude of this realization. Within this alchemy, you become the prayer and manifest the dream.
Life is the joy of embodying our light, living from its flame, and lighting up the earth like a beacon. This is our service.
May this golden globe be yours.
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